July 30th, 2011 Metra Action and E Gosh! You Stink!

7/30/2011:
IB Blue Line train: I am in the first car of a four-car train (no Budds made up this train btw), on my way to Union Station to catch an outbound Metra BNSF train to Aurora, to do some shopping at Westfield Fox Valley Mall. I am sitting in one of the aisle-facing seats adjacent to the door, and while sitting here, I smell a huge ball of body odor! I look to see who's afraid of soap and water, finding the enemy-a bearded, dark-skinned, black man, obviously homeless because of the large suitcase he carried with him and the extreme dinginess of the heavy jacket he was wearing. He sleeps through much of the ride, until the train reaches Racine, and then he awakes, and reaches into a coat pocket to pull out a wad of dry toilet paper, using it to wipe his left eye, like, three times. I saw him doing this, and I thought,

"Do you have a rag and some soap and water? Because I have some perfume in a side compartment of my backpack, and I am ready to spray, thanks to you!"

LATER
IB Metra BNSF train: Okay, weekends are the best times to ride Metra, and the worst times to ride Metra. I am on IB train #1318, which left Aurora at 4:20, on its way to Union Station. Not many people are on board, but when this train reaches the Route 59/Naperville stations, boy, do the people crowd on, even several maniacs. They board above and across from me on the right side of the car, upper deck. For the remainder of the ride, I hear them talk about the Mafia and killing people as they used quite possibly a phone, smartphone perhaps, to play ukulele music throughout the entire ride. Even worse, one in the group may have been going by the name Mafia, because his/her friends constantly called him/her and he/she responded. Even worser, as I closed my eyes, lied my head down, and relaxed, I heard one guy say,

"Everybody, sleep. I'll kill all of you."

He said that multiple times, like, at least eight times throughout the rest of the ride. When I heard it the third time, I was thinking that it had something to do with me because I was relaxing with my eyes closed and everything. And then I thought,

"Dude, don't make me track down Metra police and bring them over here."

Fortunately, nothing out of the ordinary happens to either me nor any of the other innocent passengers on board the train.